Help Desk Urgent Care

Dr: Hello and welcome to the University Urgent Care. We’ve recently been reorganized by Help Desk staff in order to serve you more effectively. What can we do for you today?

Bob: Well ever since I started taking my new cholesterol medication, I’ve been having a lot of muscle fatigue and tenderness and I was wondering if there’s something I can do about it.

Dr: We’d be happy to help you, sir. What is your current dosage of Windopa?

Bob: I actually don’t take Windopa. I’m taking Appelia.

Dr: Well I’m sorry, sir. We don’t currently treat patients on Appelia.

Bob: What do you mean?

Dr: Here at the Urgent Care, we only provide guidance on certain drugs. For cholesterol management, we treat using Windopa. We are fairly adept at treating problems caused by the drug, and if you’d like to purchase it, we’d be happy to help you with any number of its side effects you develop.

Bob: But I’m pretty happy with Appelia at the moment and the likelihood of more side effects doesn’t sound too appealing. Are you under contract with Windopa or something? Can’t you just treat my side effects for Appelia?

Dr: No we’re not under any contracts. And I’m sorry sir, but in order to treat those side effects, we’d have to know a good deal of information about that drug. That would mean our staff would have to spend hours of time and effort learning about something that relatively few people use.

Bob: What?! Millions of people use Appelia to manage their cholesterol!

Dr: Ah, but more people use Windopa.

Bob: So what?! That doesn’t make it a better drug. What about all the people who don’t like Windopa?

Dr: Ha ha ha. Everyone likes Windopa sir! Why else would they use it?

Bob: Personally, I have no idea. And I still don’t understand how you can refuse to treat symptoms caused by the second most popular cholesterol medication in the country.

Dr: Well sir, if we simply don’t treat people on Appelia, they are less likely to use it. In turn, this makes our jobs much easier since most people already use Windopa and the rest will soon, if they want our help. It’s obviously the best drug since most people already use it, so we’re just trying to get everyone on the same drug to make treatment easier.

Bob: But don’t you care about which drug the patient prefers to be on?

Dr: Not really. I guess it would be nice to offer patients options, but as long as we know quite a bit about one treatment, it’s good enough. Who needs the rest?

Bob: Well, I do, for one. But that doesn’t seem to be making much of an impression on you. Hey, you guys don’t happen to support Linuxia do you?

Dr: Dream on.

Bob: Ugh, I give up. One prescription for Windopa please.

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